The art of listening

Just want to share what my two blogging group buddies shared about the Chinese word "听” （listen).


Candice: "the ancient writing of 'listen' in Chinese, 聽, is a useful word to highlight the idea of listening with sincerity and empathy. The word itself comprises of the ears ‘耳’, eyes ’目‘, and undivided ’一‘ attention ’心‘. Quite an interesting word huh!"

Chee Kian: "In addition to what Candice had mentioned, I think the modern '听' means how much you weigh '斤' what is spoken '口' is through listening '听'."

Indeed, listening is  a skill which involves our undivided attention! You can sense it when someone is not listening to you when he/she does not give you his/her undivided attention (staring into space, preoccupied with own thoughts, playing the phone when you speak etc.). This often discourages the speaker from communicating. A sincere listener encourages communication and strengthens relationships too!

Effective Communication and Me

How frequently do we identify with the cartoon? Be it in the position of the drowning person asking for ‘A’ but the bystander sees it as ‘B’, or in the position of the bystander interpreting a message different from the original meaning.

Effective communication is important to me as it is part and parcel of my everyday life. From communicating with my parents, friends, schoolmates, project mates, professors to the near future with colleagues and boss. Effective communication is also evident in our body system in which every heartbeat and every breath is a result of our organs communicating with each other.  A breakdown in communication, however, could potentially lead to conflicts and bad relations with others.

Effective communication requires time and skills. It requires wisdom in choosing the right channel (email, text message, phone call, face to face etc. ), using the right phrases and speaking with appropriate tone and speed. Effective communication requires effort in understanding the culture and background of the audience as well. Communication is not only about verbal talking and presenting, but also non-verbal body language and written form (blogging, resume, proposal and email).

Effective communication is not all about ME, but OTHERS as well. Someone once told me that there is a reason why we are created with TWO ears and ONE mouth, and also ‘be slow to speak, but quick to listen’. Active listening is important to me in getting to know the speaker better and also encouraging the speaker, letting him/her feel appreciated. We can ‘listen’ to others not just from what they speak, but their body language and facial expressions as well.

To end off, I feel that sincerity speaks to the hearts of people and skills are tools to help achieve effective communication.