Interpersonal
conflicts are part and parcel of my life such as disagreement of ideas, desires
and priorities. Keeping peace is one of the values that I hold dear to, thus
below are some ways of how I deal with resolving conflicts in daily life.
- Recognising when am I most defensive (lack of sleep,
periods of stress, ill etc) and be extra conscious of my actions and behaviour
in these situations.
- Time. During a heated argument, both parties need to cool down. My personal remedy of cooling down is to take a stroll outdoor, breathing in fresh air.
- Listen. To what others have to say without interrupting and find out what is the motivation behind their thoughts.
- Understand. Find out more about the person’s background, which may give clues to why he/she is acting or thinking in a particular way.
One conflict
that I am still resolv-ing and yet ‘resolved’ in my life is about my future
career. Since young, I have been driven to work towards being a crime scene
investigator. Many people thought I got inspired by the famous drama CSI or
that I think that it is a cool or glamorous job. In fact, I dislike watching
police drama or horror films. I understand that crime scene can sometimes be
gory, strong smell and insects infested.
My parents
are strongly against me working as a crime scene investigator. I try to understand their point of view. They do not like
the idea of irregular working hours and me dealing with violent deaths (though
not all crime scenes are violent death e.g robbery). Honouring their decision,
I choose not to apply for the police force scholarship and assure them that my
conviction is not 100% firm.
Being a
peace lover, many times I thought of giving up my dream and just please my
parents by doing what they like but what I really dislike- office job or
teacher. This conflict with my parents causes an ongoing conflict within me.
Recently
during NUS career fair, I spoke to a Forensic Management Branch Officer. He
shared with me that parental support is very important. I froze. I knew that I will most probably
fail my future interview if the interviewer asks me if my parents support me
being a CSI.
In situation
like this, what will you do? Especially when parental consent is the KEY factor
in getting your dream job.
6 comments:
Mmm Jo, it's really an interesting career aspiration. Pretty uncommon for a lady I would say. It is definitely important to seek parental and family consent for your lifelong career, just like a marriage. I understand how you would want them to give you their fullest support.
Perhaps your parents might have thought that you were too young then to determine that you want to engage in such a profession. It is not something typically associated with the ladies in this conservative environment. Nevertheless, I would encourage you to still dream that dream and keep yourself constantly abreast with such CSI issues. Overtime, such as nearing your graduation, you may be able to convince your parents that it is your goal and interests as passion is one thing that can bring you the furthest in your job.
However, don't keep yourself restricted to that single passion as there might be other career pursuits that may interest you as well!
I hope that no matter which career option you choose to embark on in future, it will be something that you and your parents are agreeable upon!
Hey Jo! I just happen to know someone like you! She is also trying to pursue a forensics career with the Health Sciences Authority.
Parents often have certain expectations of us and have a rough idea in mind what they want us to be. Your parents could still probably treat you like the dainty daughter who is still weak and defenseless. It is not easy to convince parents otherwise, but i believe that with your conviction, you can overcome that obstacle. Your parents would be able to see that in you and have enough faith in you.
I do agree with what Candice said, continue pursuing your passion. Never beats being able to live out your passion. Don't stop believing. :)
Hello Jo!:)
I bet you're a fanatic of CSI too. Have you taken the forensics science module in NUS before? It's like an introductory course on how crime scene investigation and the forensics in Singapore works. Pretty much informative and interesting!
Well, perhaps you can take appropriate steps to convince your parents that you are suitable for the job. I'm not too sure if you're graduating this semester but you might consider taking up an internship during the summer holidays. I guess you'll have a clearer idea of the job scope and decide whether this job is the most suited for you. As for your parents' concern, gaining an experience before the real work starts would probably change their perspectives on your capabilities and passion for this job!
All the best for pursuing your dream job!:)
Thanks everyone for your encouragement! I really appreciate it (:
Candice: Yep couldn't agree more with PASSION! currently I am hoping to get into CPIB as an investigator. At least it is an office cum investigative job!
Terrence: Can feel for your friend too! Though we are unlikely to be future colleagues because HSA is more lab based whereas I am more interested in crime scene processing. My friend once encourage me that persistency pays off and I could see some good progress these days (:
Hui Qi: I have complete my Forensic Science minor and I am really happy and thankful for the opportunity! I will continue to equip myself for my dream job!
Nice tips and tricks there to deal with conflicts!
Hmm i agree with the rest with the peculiar dream job you have! actually i really admire you of having a unique dream job! Its true this job brought about many negativities from your parents bacause of the irregular working hours.
My opinion would be to pursue your dream job!! Just as what Miss Lim has mentioned, if you chose a career that you have little interest in, you will always dread going to work. Why make your life miserable? oh maybe you could see if you can try working in this field for a short period of time! (more like a trial period for you and your parents)
Gangrui: Thanks for your encouragement! I hate to drag my feet to work too :( These few weeks have been great because my mum kept silent when I try to raise the topic twice. So yay! Silent means consent I guess (:
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